I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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