i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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