fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
