i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
