everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
