i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
