dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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