Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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