I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
