Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
