Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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