Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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