i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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