Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
