she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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