I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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