don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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