i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
