you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
