i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
