there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I want to fling myself into the sun
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
