i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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