The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
