i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Randomize
