Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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