Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
