Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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