I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
