you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
