i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just blew my weed a kiss
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
