Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
