I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
