does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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