no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
