I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
