I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
