Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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