Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
