Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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