Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
