I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
