it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
