Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Me too!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
