We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
