he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
