Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
