I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
