Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
