I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
