just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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