i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
