My sheets look like a crime scene.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
